Looking in the mirror is one of the most intimate experiences, this painting represent that personal and deep moment.
Personally, looking in the mirror is a journey of acceptance. Each day is a new moment, a step forward, even those days that I fight against my reflection. It took years to understand that if I want to change that reflection, that change has to come from a place of love and not hatred. Often we look at ourselves and the image reflecting does not align with how we feel inside and how we perceive our bodies. If our identity does not coincide with the reflection, this causes anxiety, stress, detachment. However, looking at our reflection helps us develop a sense of self, ground us in our bodies and often, we tend to reject the reflection and therefore reject ourselves. Society has applied too many rules over our bodies, how it should look like, restrictions on what is right and what is wrong. There is no balance or freedom.
Because of standard set up by society, we tend to be highly critical of our bodies making it too difficult to just accept and love ourselves deeply. It's the only body we have in this life. If there is a desire to change, it's just for ourselves, it's because we feel that need inside, and not to please others. How futile it is to bring myself down for an image that will inevitably deteriorate and disappear. How imperative it is to love it with all my soul.
70x50 cm Mixed Media
Based on analogies and colour symbolism, I chose colours that recall the contrasting emotions that I feel when looking at the mirror. I used iridescent acrylics as a metaphor; we are constantly changing and evolving.
My eyes meet my reflection
I can feel every part of my body coming alive suddenly,
the void wants to take control
Am I real? What is real?
If I could only stop my mind from racing
I am in constant competition
with the mirror and the phone
asking for more and more
I am already giving you everything, what else is there?
My mind falls apart as I hold your hand
and I don't know who I am
when the mirrors turn around
I will look for your skin
I know my reflection won’t help me find peace
broken glasses on the floor
I keep looking for you even thought
you are long gone
you are burning through my spine.
Tired of falling apart, the mirror is laughing behind my back
should I listen to it?